Cestus Sol: Afterwords
by MadPanda
Summary: Wherein Sailor Pluto has a very bad day, the Goddess of Hidden Flaws answers a few questions while leaving much unsaid, and some hints are laid concerning the future of Earth now that Ranma's a Solar Exalt.


Disclaimer: **This is NOT a serious story.** People who favor the _eutopia_ known as Crystal Tokyo will not like this. People who do not want to know anything of the metaplot behind Cestus Sol ought not read this. People who have not read the rest of Cestus Sol will be very, very confused. **You Have Been Warned.** And, of course, I do not own any of the rights to Ranma, Exalted, or Sailor Moon.

**Cestus Sol: Afterwords (or 'Sailor Pluto's Very Bad Day')**

_A Ranma/Exalted/Sailor Moon fanfic by the MadPanda_

Sailor Pluto was having one of those days. That's the best way to describe it—one of _those_ days. For starters, the Time Gates had…well, here's what happened, more or less in order.

She was surfing the Timestream, keeping an eye on the flow of destiny, same as she always did. Then suddenly, apropos of nothing, there came a sharp, high-pitched twanging noise…and the Gates exploded! For an eternal second, Pluto's world was full of colorful razor sharp superheated chunks of shrapnel. Somehow she hit the deck quickly enough to avoid being hurt…

Peace was restored as suddenly as it had been shattered. The bits of mirror that ricocheted plinking off the floor around her vanished as if…she blinked, rubbed her eyes, and stared in disbelief.

The Gates were still standing. Pristine. Untouched. Something had happened, and yet nothing had happened! A paradox, here? At the most stable place in the entire continuum? Inconceivable!

The Guardian of Time felt the first traces of a major headache coming on. Nervously gripping the Time Staff, she pulled herself up to a sitting position, smoothed out her skirt, and said something quite unladylike. This wasn't supposed to happen to her! She was the holder of secrets, the mistress of destiny, the guardian of humanity's future. She got to fuck with other people's heads! Other people did not get to return the favor! Ever!

But the entity draping itself over the patent leather La-Z-Boy wasn't human. It was reptilian…okay, the head and neck were reptilian. The body was a mix of two different mammals, and the tail looked like it came from something else entirely. One spotted foreleg cradled a tub of popcorn. The other held a large mug of some dark brown foamy liquid. Two unblinking serpentine eyes stared at her. For a moment, Pluto got the uncomfortable feeling that someone, somewhere, was laughing at her.

When did the Time Gates ever have a recliner? And when did…the Gates!

Ignoring the strange creature for a moment, Setsuna rushed to the Gates and held her staff aloft. Duty came first. There was no time to lose! She had to see what had happened this time so that she could advise the others on a proper course of action! She focused on Crystal Tokyo, to reassure herself that at least the long-desired goal was safe.

It wasn't there.

Earth was there. Earth was just fine—humanity was fine, thank you, and even thriving. But Crystal Tokyo and the restored planetary kingdoms were nowhere to be found. Frantically, Setsuna rewound the streams, searching for some clue, some trigger, that might explain the heart-wrenching loss of all that she had labored to preserve. Better yet, she wanted a clue as to the identity of the people responsible! She could deal with them, restore the future as it was supposed to be…

The scent of hot buttery popcorn hit her brain. Whirling around, she pointed the staff at the strange creature. It was scooping up bits of popcorn and tossing them into its mouth.

"You! What are you doing here? What **are** you?"

It shoveled more popcorn into its maw before answering. An amused, sonorous, and very female voice echoed in the confines of Pluto's head.

"Don't mind me, dearie. Go ahead and search the time streams. We can talk when you're satisfied that you've tried everything you could remember. There's no point in going off half-cocked, is there?"

"It's gone!"

"What's gone, dear?"

"Crystal Tokyo!"

"Oh, _that_. I thought you'd lost something important." The snake-like head dipped to regard the bucket. "Would you like to have some popcorn? I've got plenty."

"What…who…" Pluto settled for brandishing her staff in a threatening manner in lieu of asking a coherent question. Her every instinct screamed that this thing, this monster, was at the root of the problem.

"Ah, now that would be what you call a mistake, dearie." The creature waggled a fore-claw at her and clicked its tongue. "You won't hurt me with that toy of yours. But you would make me very angry. And you can't really afford to make me angry with you right now. So let's settle this in a friendly fashion, shall we?"

"You did this!"

"You mean what just happened to the Gates of Time? I certainly did. Call it payback for something Jupiter did in an age now long past. I prefer to serve my revenge well chilled."

"What did Sailor Jupiter ever do to the likes of you, monster?"

"Tsk, tsk! Name calling...how rude. And whoever said that it was your pathetic little friend I meant? Not Sailor Jupiter, dearie. I refer to Jupiter, Maiden of Secrets…she whom you serve, if indirectly. Crystal Tokyo was one of her less intelligent ideas."

"But Crystal Tokyo is humanity's only hope!"

"Not anymore. I have arranged for old, long dormant options to be restored. And now you have a choice, which is something I think you have not had for a very long time. Shall I tell you what that choice is, my dear?"

"Tell me why I should not smite you!"

The creature sighed and waved a claw. Instead of the Time Gates and the recliner, Setsuna found herself seated at a long table. Across the table, her companion lounged across three chairs. There was a peculiar top hat on its head…and on a whim, Sailor Pluto reached up and confirmed that she was now sporting bunny ears. Mad Hatter's Tea Party, she grumbled to herself. How utterly Lewis Carroll.

"First," said the golden-scaled Hatter, "I already told you that your power is not sufficient to do more than annoy me. Second, if you annoy me I will simply leave you be…alone, unharmed, and yet quite unable to understand or affect what is happening. Third, if you are stuck here, you won't be able to save the others from making a terrible mistake. You are tasked with helping guide both the Inner and Outer Senshi, are you not?"

"Yes…"

"Then you will probably want to stop Uranus and Neptune from blindly attacking a certain someone, which in the absence of your wise counsel they are almost certain to do. You see, dearie, as often as my dear personal friend Lord Ranma has been attacked from ambush, he's become impatiently direct in the way in which he deals with such threats."

The creature shrugged.

"The results will be quite impressive. A pity Mount Fuji will be in the line of fire. And that's just the beginning. You will then have not just one angry Solar on your hands, but five…_and_ their five Lunar spouses as well. I promise you that they will not be in a mood to discuss matters reasonably."

Setsuna whimpered. Beside her, a lilac-haired girl in a blue dress with a white pinafore appeared and threw herself down into one of the chairs.

"Hi, Mama," the newcomer chirped to the Mad Hatter. "I have a message for you. Hello, frigid Sidereal type. Isn't this great? You can go get a boyfriend now! Or maybe a girlfriend. Or a harem. Or whatever gets you hot and bothered. Lucky you, huh?"

"Lalita, behave yourself."

"Yes, Mama."

"Where was I? Oh, yes. What has happened…you do want to know what it was I have just done, do you not?"

Setsuna whimpered again. A largish paw reached out and filled the cup before her with tea.

"There, there, dearie. Have some tea and calm down. So where should I start?"

"Daddy! Explain about Daddy first." Lalita put her elbows on the table and propped her chin up in her hands.

"Oh, very well. You girls always do like hearing about him…listen up, my sweet little pseudo-Sidereal. What I am about to tell you, the gods themselves would sacrifice entire worlds to learn. In the beginning, the Primordials made the Gods. Then the Gods made the Exalted and used them to overthrow the Primordials, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah. Ancient history and all that. Now then, the Primordals, being sore losers, cursed the Exalted who cast them down…and one of Jupiter's dirty little secrets is that the stuck up bitch knew all about this little problem. Over time, the poor Exalted souls would go quite mad with attendant havoc wreaked upon Creation, innocent bystanders, and so on. Your basic apocalypse triggered by a silly grudge. And, if I may be permitted an opinion, typical of the gods. Beastly, stupid, and immature, the lot of them. Unworthy of all that adoration."

"Now, Jupiter knew full well what had happened. And the god who handled Exaltations, a charming fellow known as Lytek, he knew as well. They never talked about it, and as far as I know Lytek never learned that Jupiter knew…as the Maiden of Secrets I suppose the frosty bitch felt that her image would have been tarnished if she'd done the right thing and told someone about what she knew. But Jupiter forgot someone, in her arrogance and her pride."

"Mama!" Lalita chirped and clapped her hands.

"Well, yes, but we're getting ahead of ourselves, honey. Now then, Jupiter, Lytek, cursed Exalts…oh, yes. The Sidereals, those Exalts who served the Five Maidens of Destiny, had the gift of prophecy. Like all prophets, they were like two-eyed men in the kingdoms of the blind. And like all other Exalted, they too suffered the effects of the Great Curse. They made a great prophecy that convinced them that the Solar Exalted, the mightiest and greatest of their kind, had to be destroyed before they tore Creation apart in their madness. They convinced the Terrestrial Exalts, who had plenty of reason to listen, and so the Solars were destroyed by their own servants. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. Stop me if you've heard any of this before."

"Whatever you're on," Pluto muttered angrily, "it's rotting your brain!"

"Think so? The Usurpation, it was called, and it ushered in the Second Age. And then, my little bitch-toy, it all went wrong. There were things the Sidereals could not see. There were forces moving that they could not predict. And their own Curse made them too proud to question themselves. Thus the Second Age became the Age of Sorrows and died beneath the heels of creatures whose mere names would frighten you. The Third Age came and went, and the Fourth…what you would remember as the Silver Millenium, dearie. And here we are, in the Fifth Age…soon to be the Sixth."

"But you haven't mentioned Daddy, yet! We can't be to the Sixth Age yet, Mom. Tell her about Daddy and Uncle Lytek and…"

The creature laughed. "Patience, child! Have you learned none of that virtue?" It…she poured herself some more tea. "I knew Lytek, Daimyo of the Division of Exaltation. I convinced him to confide in me one day about his suspicions concerning the Curse. And then we had a discussion, he and I. What we discussed, only the two of us have ever known for certain—not even the Maidens knew what was spoken, nor why. Perfect as they were, they were imperfect. That very day I took my leave of the Celestial City and walked the face of Creation, seeking a plan."

"I found one, and it was a doozy! Nobody would see it coming, so stopping it would be even more difficult that usual. Best of all, it would embarrass the Maidens of Destiny to no end. As you might imagine, I think of that as an extra special bonus."

"First, though, I needed loyal agents who could help me. I found a good man…a Solar Exalt, as it turned out. He sired my many daughters and they have been a joy, a comfort, and a great help in the many long ages since. When he finally died, I gathered his Essence from Lytek so that he might walk Creation again at a time of my choosing, safe from the designs of the Maidens and their Sidereal lapdogs."

"And so he did," Lalita trilled happily. "Daddy came back, and the screams of frustrated Sidereals were heard all across Creation when the Loom of Fate broke. It was such a beautiful sound, too!"

"As with their father, so with my friend Lord Ranma and the rest of his Circle. They were the best of their kind in many ways. With Lytek's permission and help, I have brought them forth into a new age to provide for Creation. And you of all people would understand that in order for this to happen, certain sacrifices had to be made."

"Like Crystal Tokyo," Pluto growled.

"Yes. It was such a silly, if very romantic, idea. Well, that's all over now. The great plan is no more. The very presence of the Celestial Exalted ensures that it cannot happen as it was planned. You really ought to thank me, by the way."

"Why?"

The creature shook her head and laughed.

"Poor silly Sidereal…can you imagine the expression on the face of the next self-styled overlord from the Negaverse when he meets Lord Ranma on the field of battle? He and his circlemates will defend their home and their people with as much dedication as your little pet magical girls ever did! And when they grow too proud for their own good, as in time they surely will, I will be there to re-direct them back to their true mission. Could you possibly want more from them than that? I even have a role in mind for your precious little Sailor Scouts. You will not be neglected, come the new order of things. You have earned that much."

Lalita nodded cheerfully at her mother's words. She beckoned Pluto from across the table, finally shooting up out of her chair and leaning out as far as she could to stage-whisper to the green-haired Guardian of Time.

"Just because Lord Ranma would never permit the restoration of the Moon Kingdom, Your Frigidity, does not mean the Earth is doomed. It just means that your services are no longer required in their present capacity. Go get laid or something."

There was another momentary blink in reality, and Pluto was back in front of the time gates. Gingerly verifying that her sailor _fuku_ was in place and intact (it was), she looked around to find that this time, she was alone. The Gates seemed to be functioning normally once more. The only sign that there had ever been any intruders here was the lingering smell of hot buttered popcorn and a distant echo of laughter…

And on the floor, a small bottle of aspirin next to a glass of water.

With great reluctance, Setsuna took two and set the Time Gates to scanning for the proper moment for her to explain the New World Order to Haruka and Michiru. And after that, she mused, perhaps she should try finding a boyfriend. Just to see what it would be like, of course, since she now had nothing better to do.

It was just one of those days.

**End Afterwords**

Author's Notes

Oh, brother. How to explain this one…first of all, this was not, Not, NOT part of the original story arc for Cestus Sol. The triggering idea wasn't even mine. One of my reviewers (who shall remain nameless) commented that they had thought that Cestus Sol was a Ranma/Sailor Moon crossover. While I am not at all certain how they got that idea, it stuck in my head…and then one of my tabletop players pointed out some interesting parallels between a certain reclusive, taciturn, meddling _fuku_-clad Outer Senshi and your average Sidereal. That's when I knew I had to write this out before it sunk its vicious little fangs into my psyche for good.

This is, more or less, the 'correct' back-story for Cestus Sol, or at least as much of it as anyone will ever hear from Glatisant. It's also a good chunk of the back-story for Exalted…although Glatisant didn't mention the other party who knows a lot about the Great Curse and it's effects. It's always struck me as a bit strange that the one entity who could have done the most to help prevent the Usurpation and the decline of the Second Age into the Age of Sorrows…did nothing because of her job description. Hence Glatisant's particularly strong dislike of Jupiter—the Goddess of Hidden Flaws is not a particularly forgiving person.


End file.
